I don't care what the other girls say. I will never doubt Dillion again. I will never doubt what he feels for me or what he thinks of me. Izzy Astin can take her groping and go elsewhere. Whether or not he gropes me and begs me for sex has nothing to do about how he feels or doesn't feel about me. And I know that. I feel like an idiot for even listening to the other garbage.
Tonight, he gave me one if his 'little surprises' that he has been hinting at since before Christmas. All on his own, he learned a Russian dance. A traditional Russian dance. Done at holiday celebrations and weddings. He never asked me. He didn't ask for help. He just did it. For me. Because he knows how much my family believes in our heritage. He's learning our heritage. For me. It made me cry. That said more about his thoughts and feelings on me than anything he could have whispered into my ear. He danced a Russian dance with me on the battlements, and he did it perfectly. I don't think I've been so happy in all of my entire life. I didn't want him to let me go.
He called me 'princess'. He's never called me a pet name before. Not hon or sweetie or anything. Always Rhian. But tonight, it was princess. I don't know why it hit me like it did. Maybe just because I was still so awed by him learning the dance. But it caught my attention.
After the quidditch game a few weeks ago, I caught him on the beach. And he was so tired and sleepy. And he told me he's a horrible boyfriend. Because he knows he doesn't say what he feels, and he doesn't seem to be emotional over anything. He told me I'm pretty..and that he should say that more often. I told him he was a very good boyfriend, that I was just being silly listening to the other girls.
Between that and tonight...I'm such an idiot. Guys don't just DO something like that unless you mean something to them. Mean /alot/ at that. Its like when he got me the star last year for my birthday. So fitting. And meant only for me. Its something that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. He really pays attention and knows who I am.
We still don't talk about the future. We never have. We're too young. Our birthdays are coming up. And shortly after that, its been one year we've been really together and not just 'casually dating'. I need to find him something really special for his birthday. Or maybe for before his birthday too.
And maybe I /want/ to start thinking about the future.
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